SIELA

JOURNAL ENTRY 

And it’s literally wednesday again

Roberta and Justina sit down with themselves; a shared journal, we state what’s been on our minds: our collective reflections of late. We found that although written individually, we came to a lot of similar conclusions. Most days are Wednesdays. A lot of life is spent between its prettiest moments. Coming to our senses, we each share our thoughts on life in our mid twenties, and the realness of it all. The realization that most days are indeed, just another Wednesday. How do we make them count? It’s bittersweet, real, and raw.

FROM JUSTINA | may 20, 2026

Today I feel lighter. Maybe because the sky is finally free of grey clouds. Maybe because I spent some time in the sun yesterday. Maybe because I met with my friend and we spilled all the existential thoughts lingering in our minds.

Finally, with the weather offering us warmth, we are given the freedom to be out in the world. These last few months were filled with confusion for me. Questioning if what I was doing was really it, feeling stuck in my box of a room. Consuming content of people leaving, traveling, and living in these beautiful tropical locations, while me, who has experienced that end of the stick, sits here wondering how I’m back lost in the sauce again.

Would I let this swallow me whole, so far deep that I’m lost in an eternal loop?

Part of the balance is getting unbalanced.

Weeks of journaling, and then weeks of not. I’m changing, growing, relearning, rediscovering what matters to me. So I have decided to give the “leaning back, slowing down” a try again. Maybe then it will all catch me, instead of me trying to catch it. We just weren’t going the same speed. (What is it? Well, I guess that’s part of what we’re discovering… Maybe we let it catch up to us, rather than running with our heads cut off so fast that even it can’t find us.)

Maybe it was never a job. Maybe it was just learning and unlearning things that do or don’t serve us.

Let’s get into what I do know… I like being outdoors and traveling. I like feeling like I have community. I like making art and being creative. I like making things (don’t get me started about my new venture into making things just to make them, not to decorate my walls, post about them, or sell them).

I do find that everything works out. In moments where I’m like, how will I pay for this new RE fee, how will I make this work,  it usually just… does. I think when we remove the what, when, and how, it kind of just happens. The opportunity finds you, the right apartment appears, a new connection shows up. As someone who loves all things self-help and spirituality, this isn’t necessarily all new to me. But it’s this constant reminder, this remembering, that is needed. After an awakening, or just the awareness that there is something more to all of this, the most spiritual thing you can do is get back into the game, but realize it is a game. It’s all about intention, isn’t it…

Something I’m also learning is that most of life is Wednesdays. It’s not every day that you’re getting married, engaged, having the best day of your life, on a dream trip, getting a promotion, hiking a volcano, staying in the coolest Airbnb. Special occasions are special because of their rarity. Was I chasing the next exciting thing, after the next thing? Was traveling that for me?

I noticed it when shopping, browsing clothing and thinking, I’m not really going anywhere anyway. I had caught myself living for these trips. I didn’t have plans to go to Paris, so I no longer needed a “Paris” dress. I wasn’t doing a whole European hiking adventure, so maybe I didn’t need those cargo pants either.

There’s something beautiful about getting ready to go away before a trip, and I’m sure you can relate. Maybe that’s a new piece of clothing, or getting your hair done, your nails, your eyebrows threaded. A special occasion, finally… I can get that “Parisian” dress!!

This brings me to my bit of “I have California at home” or “I have Europe at home.” I started romanticizing and added those elements of these locations to my everyday life (me taking the train to Asbury pretending I was in Europe… or the Belmars Farmers Market reminding me of a small California surf town). Come visit us on June 21st btw!! 

So I’m back to that same idea, we must find joy in the mundane days, because we really are living most of our lives in those moments. I’ve spoken about how I measure my life, how I remember eras, through trips. 

The year we went to Bali. The year I spent my birthday in the Hamptons. Great core memories. I saw a video recently talking about how time flies as an adult because the routine and the expectedness of it all merges together. We are almost sleepwalking through our days, until something special or exciting happens that finally registers in our brains.

It comes back to the importance of intention and rituals, something we do just to slow down, savor a moment, look around and think, okay, I am here, and I am real. If we don’t take that time, without stimulation or scrolling, we continue to sleepwalk. We stop noticing when we’re not okay, when our needs aren’t being met, and who knows where that leads.

All we can do is remember to play, enjoy the stage we’re in, and trust that it takes time for dreams and special occasions to come. And when they do, immerse yourself so fully that you’re engulfed, baptized, and renewed by it. Bring pitchers to fill your cup and your neighbor’s cup, and know that everyone’s moment comes eventually.

How can you find pleasure in this present moment?

I think I’m going to go get an iced caramel banana latte 😀

For someone reading this and nodding along, just know that you’re doing great. This isn’t easy. It’s actually so hard and messy. Accept that it will be messy, let yourself dream, get lost in those daydreams, and know that if it’s possible for others, it’s possible for you too. Then baby steps towards it. What’s the rush anyway… Once you find your thing, or get that thing, you’ll go through the human loop all over again. There is no end, so let’s just accept that. I love you!! Trust me, you’re doing great. But maybe they’re right,  it really is that damn phone!!!!

FROM ROBERTA | A random May evening

With the warmer season comes the constant push to be outdoors. 

A recent realization of mine has been the importance of being outdoors. Perhaps not a first time realization, but more so a reminder.

After our recent conversation with Lukas, a certain detail stuck with me. This innate instinct he had to start taking longer walks with his dog after being fully immersed in the corporate world. Lukas described it as this as an external push from another source, serving as a reminder of what really matters. And the grounding that comes with being immersed in nature, and not in made up worlds elsewhere. 

For me, as someone who is not invested in the corporate world, choosing a light, fun job in exchange for freedom to travel, I still find myself sucked into the cycle of work. It’s only natural, of course, but after a few months of consistency, it becomes a cycle that becomes mundane, and repetitive. For many people, their response to this dilemma would be, “That’s life,” or that they even prefer stability and expectancy.

And it’s true. That is life. We all have some work, or something to put some value and meaning into our lives. Our jobs give us security, freedom, and a goal. It’s just up to us whether it becomes our life, or just a part of our life. 

It may sound obvious, but for me, my time is something I value incredibly. When I catch myself spending my time on something I do not really value, I instantly find myself somewhat choking. 

I have travelled, and I have experienced the thrill of being on the road. Camping trips, hiking, sightseeing, different realities, and the awareness of it all, are my reasons to work. If I don’t have an upcoming trip planned, it’s almost impossible for me to find the motivation to work. But does this feeling go away? Am I chasing ideas outside of the present moment? 

Faced with the usual uncertainties of being in your mid twenties, I am constantly questioning my life, my choices, and where I want to be spending my precious time. And isn’t that exactly what it is? The literal spending of our time; it’s our human currency. 

But living in a capitalist society, I find this inner voice of mine clawing to be freed. A world that’s seemingly swallowing itself whole, eating itself from the inside out, all over man made concepts, it seems many of us have grown used to not being a part of the real, outdoor world around us.  

As the infamous fig tree analogy rings clearer and clearer to me, I am faced with the endless possibilities of my own life, while  simultaneously not knowing where to begin. 

With all the uncertainty however, I find themes that I have always returned to throughout my life. It’s figuring out my own patterns of what I do, and what I continue to learn about on my own. Its self study, its research, its spirituality, and its connection to the Earth I call my home. 

Maybe “home” is changing for me yet again. I find myself not wanting to go “home,” as home has become a mostly internal space. A room in a house. My outdoor patio has become my greatest sanctuary as it parallels the warmer temperatures surrounding it. It’s my own returning to the outdoors. Finding that many of my favorite times spent are outdoors. Surfing is one of the most pleasurable ways to spend my free time, even if I am not catching a single wave that day. It’s the bliss that comes with sunlight on your face, salt water on your skin, and becoming tuned into the environment around you. Becoming one with the elements themselves. Learning how to lean into them, instead of building around them.

In a world becoming so colorless, a world of mindless manufacturing and efficiency over resourcefulness that is meant to last, taking some time outside reminds us of our truest state: a vibrant life that is alive. One that is breathing synchronously with the wild life around us. Feeling the changing of the seasons. The reflections that come with each one. Taking note of what matters to you. 

This rebellion is not individual to me, I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed a shift in our generations, this movement of people, young and old, returning to the basics. Growing their own food, building their own homes, tending to their land, and leaning into the dirt that holds us. Putting down the saws and picking up the seeds. 

What works for me is finding an excuse to be outside. It’s playing tennis, surfing, enjoying a meal outside, being in the ocean, and socializing with friends. It’s a call back to humanity, and our natural ways of being. Craving a world of contentment instead of chasing titles. Breaking out of a world that has become lifeless portals from the screens in our palms. Pausing the constant advertisement on our souls, and tuning out. Becoming quiet, and sitting. Eyes open, or closed. Coming to your senses. 

And at the end of the day, we all must continue to work, to pay our bills, and to be one with society, as it gives us a place, and some purpose. But I find my place, and my purpose, is yet to be discovered. And I find more of these answers coming from the places that remain the most untouched, yet to be explored.